This week marks three years since I lost my Husband to suicide and consequently it’s not my best week.
I can dress it up and say that I am coping very well as I am sure I am but there has inevitably been this cloud sagging over me – like Eeyore plodding in my footsteps offering polar opposites every time I feel, well, pretty much okay. Memorials and anniversaries – they do have their place but at least they only last a day and for that I am eternally glad. We made it through “Grief Week” intact and now it’s time for a new school term. Thank ****
I am a firm believer in thought manifests life. I have majored in manifesting – I am really, really good at it. I’ve manifested houses, money, friendships, holidays etc. The problem is I’ve been TOO good at it and allowed negative thought patterns and fears to skulk past security. I’ve finally cracked it only to be drawn into someone else’s negative thought process to the neglect of my own desires. I’ve given negative thought patterns my own and that of others’ – enough. 2019 the new term I’m making sure that I am ready to level up and not get knocked down again. I truly do believe it can take as little as a day to see the fruits of raising energetic vibration. Something we all need to utilise more instead of turning to Governments and Politics and Chocolate.
I started Voltaire’s The Philosophical Dictionary and a very long biography on Anais Nin – blame an in between Christmas and New year Oxfam Books crawl – only to decide to put reading and all it’s merits on hold until my studio is built and my home is painted. A bitesize chunk is what I aim for but somehow I always get lost in reading. Days can pass. I am also staring longingly at a dolls house that needs papering / tiling plus a scrapbook I can’t wait to photograph and show you. I’ve also enquired about a few volunteer positions within charities – updates to come.
January so far – won’t beat me. See you next week! * It’s been a freakishly quiet week *