I dislike measuring my life in pie chart format but I do know that 70% children is true for me right now.
Their lives, their schools, their feelings, their safety, their health…and I don’t even have any at home with me during work hours anymore. If anything the work increased! I’ve become my own PA this week which having been a PA to some highly placed individuals in the past I can assure you it is not as richly blessed with the same kind of perks. Unconditional love, yes. Arranging dining for Freddy Shepherd and my boss – no. Calling Damien Hirst or getting faxes from Helmut Newton not so much anymore. But that’s all okay because my kids are worth it – all kids are worth it. They are not owned by us they are guided by us. So we better get ourselves some of the best guidance and hop on board parent train and do our best. It’s amazing how obvious this is and yet still not observed or practised in our modern world.
Also this week I’ve been thinking VOCATION. In my life I’ve had various jobs and vocations. I’ve been a freelance writer, worked with an Art dealership, (if you hadn’t guessed from the above name dropping sequence), worked for The British Heart Foundation, been a book seller, a chambermaid, a waitress. I’ve been a band manager and a music journalist. I’ve worked for an internet retail company and then formed my own branch of that. I’ve been self employed. I’ve then had to become the Director of a Corporation and liquidate it. Now I am semi-retired. That’s been my working life so far. This week I have been helping my eldest to find Work Experience for herself – so many people don’t offer it. It’s frustrating but we are determined to get something privately that fits with her interests. Consequently with this and the house I’ve had very little opportunity to create anything interesting but in this sense my duty to supporting my children – always a priority.
A friend and I met for coffee this week and she showed me her holiday adventure snaps on her phone in person. Afterwards we went for a quick walk and a drive – it was great! This is the kind of interaction I now focus on. Since leaving Facebook a year and a half ago, (kind of like giving up smoking in that you stop a few times and go back to it before you finally cut it off for good), the quality of my in person experiences with people has increased. Seriously if you can handle the withdrawl and the harsh truth of who really gives a shit take the plunge. Using Whatsapp and Instagram, (both being Facebook companies), is not quite as taxing but I confess I am also ready to leave IG at the first sign of something new that replaces it and Whatsapp I use for expediencies sake and the need to have some way of contacting people. The point is it is imperative to commit to seeking new ways of sharing and to share smarter – not more. Digital companies are going to be coming up with various ways for you to use their service to replace your own brain and all they will need is your consent – and you will freely give it. So think on! as my Dad would say.
Also this week I’ve finished Season 4 of Bates Motel, (bit late to the party), and yeah I know how the whole thing ends and I’ve watched ahead and I know the spoilers. Removing the murders, abuse and Oedipus Complex from the equation, I am scared by how much I identify with Norma Bates. Not only as a Widow, a Mother, (even typing the M word now feels wrong), a single woman in a new town but also having found an amazing love with Romero only to have it taken away, starting over etc. A person dealing with her own demons as we are all doing – and also dealing with the mental illness of someone she loves. So brilliantly played and written. I look forward to Season 5 but also I already miss Norma. I wish I could channel her courage and ability to beat up real estate agents with handbags.
ANYWAY! Posts that are not just weekly updates are on their way, see you next time!